In each and every one of these situations, taking action involves discomfort -- and pain. Giving a coworker feedback that she’d rather not hear?  This will be painful. So will receiving feedback that brings to light areas where you, too, need to make improvements.  Or taking a stand on an unpopular position because you believe, fundamentally, that it’s the right thing to do.

But not all leaders are capable of doing the tough stuff.  What separates a good manager from an exceptional leader is the willingness to move to action by facing any challenge rather than avoid it, delegate it or run from it.

This is why pain -- and the courage required to accept pain as part of the process of fully engaging -- is crucial to leadership.  The best leaders can:

Recognize when they are feeling pain - or anticipate times when they might
This is the first step toward accepting pain. It means having a solid understanding of yourself and how you react in different types of situations, along with the ability to distinguish pain from other emotions such as embarrassment, shame or anger.

Navigate and overcome the fear of pain
Does the idea of certain situations cause you to cringe and search for avoidance tactics?  You’re in the grips of the fear of pain. To move past the fear, you must be alert to it.

Resist the temptation to avoid pain by either avoiding the situations that provoke it, or reacting in a way that’s defensive or insecure
While avoiding difficult situations might seem like an easier route at a given moment, in the long-term it prevents you from evolving and becoming the best possible leader. Reacting defensively, for example, is a pain-avoidance tactic. So is dodging potentially thorny conversations.

Move thoughtfully to action
As a leader you are far more effective when you move to action regardless of the underlying emotions rather. By mustering the courage to surmount fear, you can act and make decisions from a far more thoughtful place.

Courage is a mindset that requires grit and determination. Leaders falsely believe they are required to be the “Navy Seals” of the workplace to be considered courageous. But the good news is that in reality, we all have the power to tap into courage, embrace pain and move past fear to take thoughtful action.

---

Angela Sebaly, author of The Courageous Leader (Wiley, spring 2017), is co-founder and CEO of the firm Personify Leadership, a training provider. Formerly the Vice President of Leadership Development for a global oil, gas and chemicals inspection company, Angela also serves as principle consultant for the firm Invested Leadership, a training provider.  An entrepreneur developing a global presence,  Angela has been coaching, facilitating and leading teams and organizations for over two decades. Education, communication and courage are the pillars of her life’s work.  She lives with her family in Fort Lauderdale.